Sunday, November 29, 2009

Excuses you can use for forgetting someone's birthday!

1. Really?? It was your birthday....coz you really don't a look a day older than your 16th Birthday.


2. I didn't forget your birthday...look at the future.....walking sticks, boiled vegetables, annoying grand kids.....I was just being polite.


3. The card I sent you last year...was meant for this year, sent 1 year in advance. Didn't you notice?


4. I thought I'd send you some flowers....but they'd wither. I thought I'd send you some cake...but it'd vanish. I thought I'd send you some wishes.......but what the hell will you do with it?? So i just shut up.


5. ok...i forgot!!


6. I didn't forget your birthday. I was embarrassed by the gift I bought for you....a potato peeler. It's the recession you know!


7. I bought you an MP3 Player....in installments. I received the batteries just yesterday.


8. Don't you dare say I forgot your birthday! I bought you a one way air-ticket to Dar Fur. Let me know when you'd like to go.


9. I wrote an SMS poem for you...."Rses r rd, vlets r blu, may lrd mke ur dy vry spl....a vry Hpy Brthdy 2 u" But since I pay per character for SMS, to save money...I sent you " ". Didn't you get it??


10. I dedicated a song for you in Kabalah-Al-Hukm-e-Jihad TV............ummm....you don't watch that channel?? Ummm.....you don't get that channel???


11. I didn't wish you coz I was busy praying and fasting for your long life. Burp!


12. YOU started it! It was YOU, who forgot to wish me on Feb 3rd....the National Carrot Day.

13. Birthday is for fools!! Ignoramus morons waste their time in celebrating a day of no significance when the only aim of your life should be to surrender yourself to the almighty and.................

No title!!!

I was just browsing through my blog and was shocked to note how little I am posting.

Well...life is hard and you get little time to post when your busy schedule includes waking up at 8...ok 9.....fine 10!! Then rush to watch TV, browse internet, eat, have a cuppa, have another cuppa open the Word doc of the book you writing, admire your writing skills and imagine being awarded the Pulitzer Prize, close without adding another word and mentally promise self to complete it later and of course crash on the couch for some more TV.

Considering I have 5 Followers now (Thank you soooooooooooooooooo much....you make life worth living!!), I have decided to be more responsible....even if it means slogging my fingers to visit someone else's blog, pressing Ctrl + A, followed by Ctrl + C and finally Ctrl + V.

Presenting.... Top 10 SMS Jokes of the Year and Decade, unofficially sponsored by funtoosh.com


1. Studies in India -

Portions - 8 GB
We study - 8 MB
We remember & write - 8 KB
Marks we get - Binary digits!


2. The Telegram

Son to Father -
No Money. No fun...your son.

Father to Son -
Too bad. Very sad....your dad.


3. Situation in Pakistan -

Before Zardari -
Pakistan Zindabad!

After Zardari -
Pakistan se Zinda Bhaag!


4. Cockroach in hospital -

2 cockroaches r admitted side/side in hospital.

1st: Baygon??
2nd : No....Paragon!


5. My Deewana -

Koi paththar se na mare mere deewane ko.
Aji, nuclear ka zamana hai....bomb se uda do saale ko!



6. Blackmail at times of recession -

If u don't raise my salary...I'll tell every1 in the company tat u raised my salary.



7. A very Madhu poem -

Madhu Koda, Madhu Koda
Yes baba
Cheating us?
No baba
Telling lies?
No baba
Open your balance sheet
Ha Ha Ha!


8. Pappu's Translation -

Teacher: Pappu, translate from Hindi to English "Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hai!"

Pappu: Tablets are walking in the market.



9. Fill in the blanks!

Fill in the blank with 'Yes' OR 'No'

______, I'm an idiot!




10. Rahul Gandhi ki shaadi!

Q. Rahul Gandhi ki shaadi kyon nahin hoti??
A. Kyonki har jagah likha hai "Soniaji ko bahu-mat do!"


....and a bonus......


11. The 3 stages of life -

Teenage
Energy + Time...but no money.

Working Age
Energy + Money...but no time.

Old Age
Time + Money...but no energy!